The Importance of Dominance and the Emotional Relationship

I don’t know how I can actually write this post without being a little bit, if not, quite bitter, but it’s a significant enough discovery on my part.

Something I’ve personally realized recently is the importance of dominance in a dominant/submissive relationship. Yeah, some of you might be going “well, duh” but it isn’t just dominance just because. It is dominance that comes with belief. It doesn’t come with age, it comes with attitude, and it’s something not all of us possess. I don’t know how to explain dominance, but I’ll try. To me, it is position of power that one possesses. You somehow have to learn how to work it, especially over the submissive.

Dominance is not, however, possible without the other party. It’s a two way street. It also has to be perceived by the submissive. I’m not so much sure about other aspects of BDSM, but in ageplay, your carer (in our case, Daddy) is your hero. You look up to him, you respect him, you trust him to protect you from anything and everything out to get you.

It took me a few days to write this, and it took longer to realize these facts, and how much I’m affected by the dominance of Daddy even when it isn’t little time for me (eg: normal life) Before, I identified my kink as one where I would not be too emotionally attached, preferring not to indulge in it where it would affect my big girl life. I never got why Lara would lament to me over Skype about the punishments that her daddy would make her go through even though he was far away.

But now I get it, and this is the explanation: There is fear when Daddy sets you a task or a punishment that he may not be around for him to see that you follow through, but there is a certain exhilaration when you obey and try and do whatever he has asked you to within limits and rules that he sets, and even more comfort if you follow these rules and limits, knowing that he’d be proud of you, and experiencing his approval. This is only possible through the little girl having the fear, the awe and the craving of approval from Daddy, and Daddy reciprocating by telling her what to do in such a manner that conveys his belief that he is doing this for her own good. (I’m aware that there are different types of daddy-little girl relationships, this is just my take.)

I’d run miles to get that approval, maybe even hop on a plane..  even if it constantly fucking evades me.

Holly

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3 Responses to The Importance of Dominance and the Emotional Relationship

  1. Chibi says:

    Wow, that is quite insightful. I’ve never thought about that with so much depth before.

  2. Corrine says:

    I’m glad I decided to read through your old blog entries. Everything in this made me go “YES, that is so true!”

    It’s awesome to see similarities in another person. It makes me feel validated, I think. Not alone, and all that.

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