Of non-sexuality

This entry contains solely the view of me, Holly, and not the both of us (definitely not Lara..) and does not necessarily reflect the views of members of the ageplay community. I do not mean to insult or belittle the wants of others, but writing this I discuss my own thoughts and feelings.

All the content on this site is solely to do with age play and AB/DL and is done with consenting adults. No real children/babies are involved or insinuated and  this site does NOT, and will NOT, have ANYTHING to do with minors under the legal consenting age.

More often than not, I feel like a black sheep when I discuss my need for strictly non-sexual elements in ABDL play, especially daddy and little girl.

Me: “I’d give up sex. Sex over being having daddy to take care of me as a little girl.”
Lara: “You’re crazy and I’m calling you bullshit.”

Okay, not really, but I just might if I had a gun pointed to my head.

Before I get written off as a crazy prude, I have to admit, I do love sex. I love good, bone shaking orgasms, and I love intimate contact with both men and women. And yes, other fetishes as well – bondage and handcuffs and humiliation and many other things. And I’m still looking to explore. That’s me being a big girl, a grown bisexual genderqueer adult.. But between being me as a little girl, I don’t want that.

Innocence. When I am a little girl with her daddy, I don’t want to have to deal with adult things, I want to just be young and carefree. I don’t want to have to go into a room and be chained up while a daddydom is making me suck their ‘baby bottle’ and swallow all of the liquid. It’s just not me. I’d prefer to be an innocent child with no sexual innuendos involved in the process. Just being little and having a really nice, relaxing, stress-free time. And it’s really just me, but – I feel dirty. I’d like to have a chance to be a child again, to rewrite my own traumatising childhood*** with better memories – and having to give a blowjob is not something you’d make a child do. In that case, it’s me pretending to be a child.

But the question always really comes up – then how does it classify as a fetish? Does my activity in such an reflect my subconscious desires, that I do have a sexual need that underlies under all of it?

The question is, I still don’t know. And I struggle with it frequently. I would say a large amount of the people I’ve come across involved in this activity involve sexual elements in their play, which has prevented me from playing with a lot of people when I’m solely wanting to play as little girl.

Does this make sense? That I admit to being extremely emotionally needy. That I just want a shot at a past that I’ve never had. I’ve been purging for a very long time.. Almost a year.. since my last break up. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s had some benefits which allow me to think about what I really want in my life at the moment, and that’s just to really find someone nice, loving and caring to curl up into and look after me, and protect me without sexual aspect of it.. and sticking to that ideal in my life hasn’t been easy, either. And I know this is a very bad generalization.. but most of the daddies that I’ve come across have sexual needs that they would like to fulfill in that area. It’s not wrong, but it severely limits who I can play with. And sometimes, I don’t blame them for not wanting a little girl who’s non-sexual about it, because if you really think about it in that aspect.. who would really want to look after a little girl who’s not interested in the sexual element?

So without the sexual element, does that still make me into this fetish? Or does that make me an adult who just wants to be a baby again? Where and how are these lines drawn?

Sigh. I sound so jaded. I guess I am. Maybe I’ll change this feeling in a while.

***I do absolutely nothing for the social stigma that ALL AB/DLs have had bad childhood pasts and that’s why they’re that way. Yes, I did have a horrible childhood and now I spend my adult life trying to recreate what I didn’t have. (Oh, you can smell the bitterness from a mile away..)

xo,
Holly

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12 Responses to Of non-sexuality

  1. Corrine says:

    ABDL is nonsexual for me (though perhaps that is a given, considering that I myself am asexual).

    I do, however, know several other littles who feel this is nonsexual for them as well, and I have met bigs before who definitely feel that this is nonsexual for them. So I wouldn’t write it off as hopeless. Not at all.

  2. Chibikko says:

    I’m right on track with you, Holly. I can be very sexual sometimes, but when I’m little I want nothing to do with sexuality. But I don’t have a problem with those who do, whether little or big, as long as they respect others of course.

    I don’t know very many in the ABDL community (and none in person yet) so I can’t speak on my experiences with others, but I definitely want to meet people (little and big) to play with who won’t try to make it sexual.

    Stay strong girl, and know that there are people who support you and your needs.

  3. Vanessa says:

    I randomly stumbled across your bog and find it to be pretty amazing. I can identify with you in the way that sometimes when I’m in a little space I don’t have sexual desires. I mean it happens on occasion, but for the most part when I’m playing as a little I don’t care to be sexual.

    I have met a few people, both little and big that feel the same way, so I don’t think it’s a hopeless case either.

  4. Joanne says:

    It’s the elephant in the room. You feel very much as I do when I’m happy regressing to being a child in that you sure don’t want groan up sexuality tossed in with it although you don’t have an issue with exploring your sexual side as part of “your big”.
    I have written a few times in my alg blog around this topic.
    Regards Jo.

  5. Riia says:

    I feel the exact same way. Being asexual makes it easy though I suppose. Then again, it’s pretty hard to find a Mommy or Daddy who will do non-sexual ageplay. At least in my own experiences it has been. Then again, even when I’m not a little girl I don’t really want anything to do with sex. maybe that’s what makes it so hard for me. Anyway, I’m glad I saw this post. ❤

    • holly says:

      Hey,

      Yeah, I can see why it may be difficult, but don’t give up hope – I mean, I really believe there is someone out there for everyone, you know?! Five billion people, there has to be SOMEONE…

      Take care. Good luck on your search.

      H

  6. mary says:

    Hi your not bad wrong etc for just wanting to play carefree your what someone told ME once was called a natural… I do not have any sexual aspect at all involved with my life and I am a very happy person and yes I have the same daddy that I have had for ten years in fact for the past five his wife him and I have lived in the same house so it is very possible to find the right person that’s going to fit your needs ps I would play with you anytime!:):) I don’t get the chance to play with others much cause I’m afraid people all want to add the sexual aspect which while I support there choices it’s not mine to add into my playtime
    Anyways my names mary an I had to put my email in to leave this comment feel free to contact me 🙂 by have a awesome day!:)

  7. Leah says:

    I’ve only just found your blog.

    I have surprised myself by discovering that I have interest in being ‘little’ (literally this week!) I always thought that I was very in tune with my likes and dislikes but at 37, I have surprised myself with this one!

    I am still discovering how I feel. I am happy to regress with no sex but if this was with a partner, i don’t doubt it would lead to sex at some point. Although I realise that my feelings may change as I explore more.

    It comes completely naturally for me to act babyishly whilst in a relationship (even though I am a very mature and capable woman who has ran various businesses in her time who has been accused of being bossy in her time!) and even when I am on my own. I still suck my thumb and have a comfort blanket which I can’t sleep without. I can’t sit to read or watch a film without my comforts either. I giggle away to myself like a child and make childish noises. One ex never minded and I realised that I would naturally regress around him, (although we never took it as far as sex) however, I just thought of it as me being ‘silly’. I never realised until now, what this meant and how important this ‘little play’ is to me. I always thought that men would be repulsed and turned off so I have always hidden these aspects of myself. With great difficulty might I add, because, like I said, this sort of behaviour just feels completely normal. To realise that there were men out there that would not only NOT be repulsed, but to be turned on by, or actively encourage this sort of play, was amazing! To think that I could be in a relationship with a ‘daddy’ – wow! I suddenly realised what I have been missing out on and what these urges were all about.

    There are aspects of being little that turn me on but for the most part, I just want to be looked after. I couldn’t, however, be looked after by someone I wasn’t in a relationship with. I think this may be the difference for me. Outside of a partner (which I don’t currently have) I can’t bear to be touched by other people.

    I actually wrote a story yesterday which had no sex in it whatsoever. It was the first story I have ever written in full. It’s strange to think that the first erotic story I wrote contains no sex or that it was a bout a topic I knew nothing about a week ago!

    Anyway, sorry for the babble. I just wanted to say that even though my experience is limited, from what I have read up on, regression play with no sex is definitely a preference of a good few of abdl’s. I don’t think it is strange at all. I realise this article is a year old and much may have changed since then but I don’t doubt you would be able to find a daddy that would engage in non sexual play.

    Goodluck and thanks for the blog.

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